Aches

Tonight my arms ache.  It’s faint tonight.  Some days the feeling is stronger.  On other days I couldn’t detect the longing at all.  But for this moment, I really want to hold a baby.  I want to. Pour. Out. Love.  To wrap myself around and into the future and the past of a little one, their pain and their happiness and their needs and their giftedness. 

 

The more I love and want to love, the more I want to hug someone tight.  And the more I don’t get to, the more all this physical reality demands to be expressed.  If my body can’t push out, against another human being to love them, then it will push from within, and it’s so weird!  My emotions will so react to being a physical being restrained that sometimes I’ll do something physical just to be real.  I’ll throw something, playfully shove a friend who’s teasing me, or on a very good day – find a friend (or friend’s child) to hold tight for just a few moments. 

 

I don’t want to forget.  I want these experiences to form me.  I want to prepare to express love well.  I pray for gentleness to balance out all this feisty energy right now.  I want the desires of my heart to cast me into the arms of my good God.  I wait on Him. 

 

To God be all glory,

Lisa of Longbourn

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Ten

Ten babies died today. 

No scientists are desperately searching for a cure to their cause of death. 

No autopsies were done to determine time of death.  No one even writes a death certificate. 

 

This is because the babies were never born. 

 

But they are not in my imagination.  They are not less than babies, or less than people.  Death.  Huge, permanent loss whose repercussions we can’t even project, yet not one is even given a funeral, but that does not mean they are not mourned. 

 

Ten witnesses stood today. 

We desperately pleaded for their innocent lives, and grieved their slaughter. 

We were on our knees until end of life, with hands held out begging: we were gathered for life this morning. 

 

This is because the babies were conceived, given by God for a purpose. 

 

But they are not remembered.  They are like so many deaths, so many days, so regular that we want to forget and so normal that we almost can.  Lives.  Tiny, mysterious existences we don’t even understand, whose potential we can’t even project, were cut short today. 

 

I cannot forget. 

To God be all glory,

Lisa of Longbourn

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Update on Pro-Life Rally in Colorado

I went to the rally today.  In the morning we were outside the projected facility, a really beat up building presently, surrounded by wire fences with barbed wire on top.  The area is under development, so maybe when the fence was build there was a need to protect property.  Anway, we marched, prayed, and protested.  My experience marching was holding the hand of a little boy whose mother brought him and his two brothers.  Before today I had never met them.  The rally was an informative kick-off to future efforts.  Speakers included Keith, Will, Eric Scheidler from Illinois, Joe Scheidler also from Illinois, and a lawyer named Tom. 

After lunch we moved inside (side note: earlier this week sleet and snow and freezing weather were predicted for today, but the actual weather was a chilly, clear morning – rain came way after the rally) and heard again the history of this Planned Parenthood facility, and its sister facility with sister tactics in Aurora, Illinois.  Mostly for me it was a time to figure out who these leaders are, what they’re about, and what they’ll continue to do. 

Keith, who is always a quiet person, showed real emotion, between excitement for the turnout, enthusiasm for the cause, and appreciation for leaders of the pro-life movement.  And he quite often was heart to say, “Praise God.”  Will was softspoken and direct, like Gandalf veiling his potency in a thin cloak.  A few weeks ago I heard him answer a neighbor of a contractor who complained he was tired of our protests, “Forty years and 50 million lives!  We’re tired of babies being murdered!”  I am fully aware that my quote has not the slightest hint of the fervor with which it was originally spoken.  Eric told us about the ongoing efforts in Illinois, and how God providentially had the people in place to respond to the last-minute call to forestall Planned Parenthood’s opening there.  Joe gave the Christian admonition to carry on in faith (relying on God), hope (that there are real victories being won through our willingness to be involved and outspoken), and love (for the babies, obviously, and also for our “enemies,” whose souls are at stake.   

Tom the lawyer talked about first amendment rights, testifying of the progressively improving standing pro-life groups have in court.  He advised to always do what a police officer says, even if there isn’t a law.  If our rights are clearly intentionally violated, then we can meet with an officer’s superiors or write letters or if the offense is very direct, we can call a lawyer.  A lot of these people have been in jail.  Sometimes I think of that as civil disobedience, with which I disagree.  The Bible teaches to obey the ordinances of man.  But apparently most of these people weren’t breaking ordinances; they were making authorities uncomfortable, so they arrested them without charges. 

Anyway, I signed the petition (’cause we’re not allowed to sign the ones that we’re circulating) defining person as beginning at fertilization.  Some of the speakers had pretty direct ways of backing pro-choice people into a corner to admit that a baby in the womb is still a living human being.  They report that the abortionists have admitted that they know they are destroying life.  But they don’t tell the women that, because abortion is a business. 

The plans in Colorado are:

1.  Pressure contractors (particularly Weitz Company) through phone calls, emails, and neighborhood protests to cease construction on the Planned Parenthood mega-clinic. 

2.  Increase city, state, and neighborhood awareness of the facility and the dishonest practices employed by Planned Parenthood. 

3.  Preach to those who are working on the building, praying they will, when educated about the project, turn away. 

4.  Define person in the Colorado constitution as beginning at fertilization (collect signatures for the petitions, campaign for the ballot measure). 

5.  Continue to intercede outside of abortion clinics. 

Reported by one of the speakers today was the statistic that the average age of an abortionist in the US today is 65 years, because no new med students want the kind of stigmatized life the abortionists face – a direct result of pro-life protesting.  If there is no abortionist available, even if it is legal, women will not be able to kill their babies.  If there is no facility available, no babies will be murdered either.  The little protests count.  They’re building. 

Pray that the pro-life people of Colorado will be able to expose the lies and greed and ruthlessness of Planned Parenthood and that the facility would be halted and never opened.  Pray that the Christians would stand up for what the Bible clearly teaches.  Pray that the people would understand what abortion is, and reject the practice as barbarous child-sacrifice.  Pray that God will send a revival, using His ambassadors who are surrendered to His service, to Colorado: millions need to experience God’s saving grace for their lives. 

To God be all glory,
Lisa of Longbourn

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Responsible

I do try to be consistent.  The pro-life article I linked earlier, and especially the comments afterward, assumed that responsible people would have used birth control.  In case you’re wondering, the birth control I believe in is abstinence outside of marriage, and trusting God inside of marriage. 

Responsibility is not some objective standard.  I think we should view responsibility as to something or someone.  In the instance of abstinence, we are responsible to God to abide by His instructions, trust His providence, embrace His gifts, and thus receive His blessings. 

What makes me more angry than the confused, hormonal, and lied-to women who receive abortions are the complacent, indifferent Christians who equally devalue new life by so-called prevention.  A good friend did a research paper in college on “the pill,” and was horrified to learn that the medication embraced by self-proclaimed responsible Christian wives is an abortificient.  Translation: even in the birth control doses, the pill can cause abortions of not-yet implanted embryos.  The should-be parents never know unless they’re under invasive medical screening.  All they know is that – “what a relief” – they aren’t pregnant.  What shocked my friend even more is that when she informed the Christian population, who had to be ignorant to keep using the pill, surely; she found that the friends had heard of the claim that the pill is an abortificient.  To so many Christians who would love to see Roe v. Wade overturned, the facts about their chemical birth control were irrelevant. 

I’m a sheltered homeschool Christian girl who doesn’t really need to decide for herself on these issues yet.  First I was pro-life.  Then I was anti-abortion.  Then I was anti-“the pill.”  Now I’m anti-birth control.  I’m pro-children, would love to have lots of children, and will be serving in the church nursery tomorrow (despite the fact that I don’t believe in Church nurseries). 

Be responsible…

to God. 

To God be all glory,

Lisa of Longbourn

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Planned Parenthood Denver this Morning

This morning I was back outside Planned Parenthood, praying for the babies, the mothers, the fathers, the grandmothers, the friends, the staff and volunteers of the clinic, and some of the protesters with me that they would know Jesus’ grace.  His grace has meant so much to me.  We’re all just sinners; only accepting God’s grace makes a difference.  That is humbling and unifying. 

I was looking at the signs the pro-lifers had up.  Some make no sense, strange verses that don’t have much to do with babies or life or salvation.  Others are simple and obvious, like “Abortion kills.”  Popular are bloody photographs of what an aborted baby looks like, how old it was, how big, etc.  When the scared, confused, selfish, or arrogant girls drive in, I can’t imagine how they go through with their abortion facing the evidence in front of them.  My bet is that while doctors tend to have posters and pamphlets and full-disclosure of the procedures in other fields, the Planned Parenthood walls were not postered with happy photographs of beheaded infants, though the volunteers who escort women inside cheerfully pretend there is a party inside. 

Even though I see the potential impact of these signs and accompanying rhetoric, I much prefer the other signs.  These are photos of live babies, in the womb or already birthed.  If I had a baby, I’d bring it to the clinic to protest.  The pleas accompanying these signs are, “Please, mom, don’t kill your baby!  Come talk to us.  Any help you need, we’ll get it for you for free.  Is it a boy or a girl they’re going to kill today?” 

I don’t know where the propaganda comes from, but somehow the mothers and abortionists think that we stand shivering in the cold, early Saturday mornings for greedy reasons of our own.  The staff yell back at the protesters trying to intercede for helpless, innocent infants, “You hypocrites!  Judge not.”  We’re called idiots, stupid, and unfeeling. 

But the people out there care.  Almost every family I know that protests also supports crisis pregnancy centers and adoption.  Most have adopted.  If a baby is saved, the mother is not abandoned.  She is mentored, and cared for, and given options.  Some of the women protesting have experienced the life-altering impact of abortions by having one themselves.  Now they know.  They’ve repented.  Many have experienced Jesus’ forgiveness and peace.  And they want to help the girls today to find that peace, as well. 

Today was the first day I went without close friends or family.  When I sit there I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m emotionless.  I know the facts, and they don’t add up to what I see before me, and maybe the lack of comprehension in my soul overwhelms me and shuts down my feelings.  The first time I went, I was worried that I would do something rash, impulsive, drastic, physical, and illegal.  But I didn’t, and still don’t have very strong urges to do so.  I’m safe, then, going to meet strangers.  Being there on my own moved several of the grandmotherly women to compassion for me, I guess.  They gave me hugs.  I don’t usually hug strangers, but I felt their love, their comaraderie. 

Look.  I’m rambling about my experience, and rarely conclude well.  A blog is one endless conversation; shouldn’t it just transition into the next post?  But I do want to say: do something.  Support a crisis pregnancy center.  Consider adoption.  Protest.  Fund protests.  Write your state and federal congressmen.  Get your church involved.  Give a baby a hug. 

To God be all glory,

Lisa of Longbourn

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