Posts Tagged ‘modesty’
Emotional “Purity”
Posted in biblical womanhood, Uncategorized, tagged attraction, Before you meet Prince Charming, crush, do not arouse or awaken love, emotional purity, guard your heart, guilt, leading men on, love, modesty, purity on June 26, 2016| Leave a Comment »
Complaining is Immodest
Posted in life, theology, tagged Christian living, complaining, grumbling, humility, love, modesty, pride on December 14, 2009| Leave a Comment »
Modesty is a word that, in Christian circles, usually refers to the hot topic of dress codes. Should women wear swimsuits in public? What is appropriate for church? For everyday? Is only the motive important, or is there an absolute line that should be drawn: you can see this much skin and no further, this much shape and no more?
But modesty originally had more to do with attitude than appearance. The word is often applied to what we wear, which is a good use for the term. But have you not heard someone responding to a denied compliment: “Don’t be so modest!” In this sense, modesty is a synonym for humility. We get an idea of not praising oneself. Do not desire the praise of men, but certainly don’t praise yourself before men. Let your own works praise you in the gates…
Attention is a big theme of modesty. Are you demanding attention? It is not modest to dress so provocatively that others must notice you. Nor is it modest to talk often of yourself, whether what you tell is good or bad, true or false. To be modest is not the same as being shy. Modest people do not need to hide in the shadows or refuse compliments. They are gracious and grateful, cheerful and others-centered.
Today I am convicted by a different form of modesty that I had never considered. Complaining. First of all, the Bible specifically condemns grumbling, so that should be sufficient reason not to do it. Secondly, being around complaining people is unpleasant. And it brings me down. Focusing on the bad is the opposite of thankfulness and contentment. Speaking about it is the opposite of modesty.
Frustrated with my displays of discontent recently, I examined what was driving me to complain. And I realized that I complain for something to say and so that people will listen to me and notice me and be forced into my concerns. Complaining is different from asking for help. My whining at times has been a plea for help, but too proud to be expressed. There is a short road, then, from the attention-grabbing complaint to pride and bitterness and being quite rude to people.
Love is not rude. It is not self-seeking or puffed up. Love is modest. I am called to love my neighbor. I serve a God jealous for glory, who resists the proud and gives grace to the humble. Grace is something I could use a lot of.
In order to pursue God’s glory and loving my neighbors, I am going to:
- Get someone to smack me when I complain.
- Practice asking for help.
- Ask questions about other peoples’ lives rather than ranting about my own.
- Practice thankfulness.
To God be all glory,
Lisa of Longbourn
Ideal, Perfect, Normal, Inspiring
Posted in life, literature, waiting, tagged Anne of Green Gables, Bible, big picture, books, Chesterton, choices, common sense, confession, contentment, CS Lewis, family, freedom, GK Chesterton, God, good, home, Jesus, libraries, marriage, modesty, mom, novels, perfection, Protestants, reading, relationships, romance, rules, The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe, The Witch of Blackbird Pond, waiting, youth on April 29, 2008| Leave a Comment »
What God Has Been Teaching Me
Posted in Bible, life, tagged 1 Corinthians, ascetics, Awana, beneficial, bishop, bridle, choice, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, command, control, curb, decadence, Dennis Prager, dependence, diligence, discreet, dissipation, dissolution, elder, elect exiles, Ephesians, expedient, faith, fasting, fervent, fruit of the Spirit, fun, Galatians, glory, God, goodness, grace, Greek, happiness, hope, hymns, indulgence, instinct, Isaiah, James, Jesus, joy, kindness, lawful, leash, Lord's Prayer, love, Luke, meekness, Michael Card, mind, ministry, moderate, modesty, Mr. Darcy, Oh Be Careful Little Eyes, overseer, parable, pastor, patience, Paul, peace, Peter, Philippians, pleasure, prayer, pride, Proverbs, ready, regulation, restraint, self-control, Sermon on the Mount, sober, sobriety, Solomon, Sparks, steadfast, strength, temperance, tongue, weary on April 11, 2008| 1 Comment »
Sunday morning my pastor preached on prayer. I know this fact, even though I wasn’t there, and that’s enough. Sunday afternoon there was a youth leaders meeting where the veterans reiterated the essential role prayer plays in making a meeting or ministry successful. Filled with a sense of the needs, and the knowledge that God wanted me to refocus, I had a marvelous Sunday and Monday filled with intentional prayer. And then I stayed up late, and slept in and stayed up and slept in. I’ve been praying, but it hasn’t been the intentional, set aside time I resolved to do.
Wednesday my mom taught the Awana Sparks about the Lord’s Prayer, and in our weekly debriefing of funny things kids said, she shared part of her lesson. Afterward I read a new article on one of my favorite websites – it was on the Lord’s Prayer, too.
This week I also received in the mail the newest Michael Card album, Hymns. The first or second song (most listened to if you push play right before you fall asleep each night) is Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing. There is a part of that song I remember a pastor talking about a long time ago. The author of the hymn wrote “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it… Here’s my heart, o, take and seal it…” He did wander. That’s the testimony of his life. He knew himself. His heart needed sealed.
So does my heart, because it wanders. In some ways this week has been beautiful, but it’s only because I’ve spotted God’s grace and messages, not because I’ve had victory in yielding to them. I know everything about the need to be content, but I just am not content. My heart isn’t focused. I’m not diligent with my time or energy, or responsible with my money. I’m tired.
On Sunday something said at the leader’s meeting reminded me of Galatians 6:9: “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Like a breath of keenest fresh air to one suffocating, I needed every ounce of the hope in that verse. There is conviction in Paul’s words also. That is what I want to focus on today.
The first thing Solomon mentions after this command is speech. There is a lot about speech in Ephesians, but this reminds me also of James, whose vivid description of the tongue as the spark that sets a forest on fire opens with “If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.”
Solomon goes on to talk about our eyes. Ok, I can’t resist. One of the best songs kids ever learn is “Oh be careful little eyes,” and actually I think we should make teenagers and adults sing it, too. Do you remember it? Oh be careful little tongue what you say, oh be careful little tongue what you say. For the Father up above is looking down in love, so be careful little tongue what you say. Oh be careful little eyes what you see. Oh be careful little feet where you go. Tongue, Eyes, Feet. Ponder your path. Don’t get distracted. Keep control of your tongue. Guard your heart. Commit to focusing on wisdom and truth and goodness. “Set your mind on things above.”
Galatians 5:22-23 lists the fruit of the Spirit. All the virtues are connected. Love is a choice. Joy is something we are commanded to have. Peace, Philippians tells us, is a result of giving our anxieties to God in prayer. Patience, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. Meekness has been described as power under control. This may be what Mr. Darcy had in mind when he defended his character and his quiet nature by saying, “Where there is real superiority of mind, pride will always be under good regulation.” While at first impression this seems like another evidence of Mr. Darcy’s arrogance, it has been suggested by those sympathetic to his character that what he was saying was a strong enough mind knew how to keep his pride – his selfish impulses – under control. His reluctance to speak when he might be tempted to go too far is a sign of his meekness rather than of his pride.
Dennis Prager is a strangely blended Jewish moralist who speaks, writes, and hosts a radio show. Though his is by no means an absolute authority, he makes a good point by saying that happiness comes from the mind making choices over the instinct for fun or pleasure. The mind knows better than feelings. It can make choices based on the long-term. Essentially he is saying that self-control brings happiness.
Self-control, or temperance, is from the Greek egkrates, “strong, robust; having power over, possessed of (a thing); mastering, controlling, curbing, restraining; controlling one’s self, temperate, continent.” Strength is active, working both on itself and on progress. Tolkien describes a curb not only as a limit to where one can go, but as a tool for navigation: a ditch, bank, or curb would enable one to stay on a road in the dark or in a fog. So limits restrain us, but they also get us to our destination. Solomon warns against off-roading.
Peter says to add temperance to knowledge, and patience to temperance (2 Peter 1:6). A pastor is told to be temperate in Titus 1:8. He is also required to be sober: “curbing one’s desires and impulses, self-controlled, temperate” Titus 2:5 uses the same word to describe that which a young woman ought to be taught. It is translated “discreet” in KJV. Modesty is a consequence of discretion. Sobriety is the opposite of drunkenness or dissipation, in which control of yourself is loosed. Dissolution is a word meaning exactly that “cut loose”, and it leads to all sorts of sinful indulgence and decadence. I need to be moderate.
Paul depicted this virtue in 1 Corinthians 9, in the metaphor of an athlete.
Back in 1 Corinthians 9, Paul also says that he brings his body under subjection, he makes a slave of it using stern discipline. One stern discipline, an exercise in self-control and dependence on God, is fasting. Fasting should never be about indulging my own cravings, whether sensual, for food, for the praise of men, or to soothe my conscience. Isaiah 58, beginning in verse 3, contains God’s design for fasting.
I must be ready, then, by exercising self-control, to do good works. Pray with perseverance and persistence. Be steadfast. Stand therefore. Gird up the loins of your mind, and be sober, that you may be ready in and out of season to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you. Hope is even described in the Bible as an anchor – the image of stability and strength. Do not be slothful, but fervent in whatever you do. Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
To God be all glory,